|
Communication and Legal Aspects | |
| Change and balance
Children's coping and support networks
|
Communication There was a gap in communication between parents and children. While 99% of parents said they had told children about the divorce, only 71% of children agreed. Few children felt they had been actively ‘prepared’ by their parents for the separation, even where parents themselves were planning the split. It was like 'Oh well, it's not really your problem, you don't have to go through all the divorce things.' but no one seemed to realise I was sort of THERE. They were all concerned with what they were doing. Libby, aged 13 Immediately after the separation, most children sought out someone with whom to share their feelings. Nonetheless they were very concerned to retain control over who found out, and when. Nearly two-thirds (62%) reported they had kept the divorce secret from certain people. They feared being teased or made the subject of gossip. In some cases such fears were realised. Well, I’ve kept it a secret from my worst friend ‘cos he’ll probably tease me and all that. I told one of my friends and he called me ‘Dad-less’. Jonny, aged 10 Legal aspects Few children (22%) reported being told about the legal proceedings by their parents and less than half (46%) said it would have helped them to know more. Children were less concerned about legal aspects than other aspects of the marriage breakdown. Children’s understanding of the legal process was poor and generally derived from television or cinema portrayals. I’ve seen it on Eastenders. I’ve worked it out from there ! I know it from there and I know it from other TV series. Josie, aged 12
|
|
